“We both have a life now.” Katherine and Brian’s* Story

*Names changed for anonymity

Katherine first met Brian in 1981 when they were both students in Edinburgh. Over the next four decades, they built a life full of adventure, living in England, Poland and Switzerland. "We've been married for 39 years." Katherine says. "We had a very active life with our children; we loved skiing, hillwalking, and travelling."

When Brian walked out of his senior finance role in 2015, Katherine knew something had changed. Looking back, there had been earlier signs, but this moment marked the beginning of a long and uncertain journey towards diagnosis.

After two and a half years, Brian was diagnosed with young onset Alzheimer’s in 2018 at the age of just 57.

“Because he was young, getting a diagnosis took a long time.” Katherine said. “People with Alzheimer’s can sometimes mask the symptoms, especially when they are intelligent, but I knew something wasn’t right. There were indications and, with hindsight, some earlier signs, but nothing obvious. Getting a diagnosis was difficult as he would appear normal at those early GP appointments.”

In the years that followed, Brian’s memory and health deteriorated until the family felt it was no longer safe for him to be left on his own. Katherine gave up work to become his full-time carer. Their daughters felt the weight of it too. "Their dad went from being someone highly capable and a mentor to them, to someone who could no longer do those things," Katherine reflects. "That was very difficult for the girls to accept," she adds.

Katherine’s daughters both helped to care for Brian. Their eldest daughter moved home during the Covid lockdown to relieve some of the pressure. Their youngest daughter, who was living and working in France at the time, would use her holidays to fly home and give Katherine a week's break, doing this for a couple of years before also moving back home.  "My daughters were such a huge help in supporting and caring for Brian."

With little formal support available, Katherine co-founded a young-onset support group.

"Just being around other people who are in the same situation, being able to speak about it, share experiences and knowledge, and get advice, it was all so helpful," she says. Brian himself spoke at council meetings, influencing the employment of a full-time young onset link worker. Even during his own diagnosis, he wanted to do something positive with it and to help others.

Katherine was eventually awarded 12 hours of respite a week, and they employed a family friend to take Brian out twice a week, to the barbers, on walks and taking photographs. It gave Katherine space to go to the gym, meet friends and have a coffee. But as the months passed, Katherine knew she couldn’t manage Brian’s care and safety needs alone anymore.

A family friend who worked at Simeon suggested it might be the right place for Brian and showed Katherine around. This was a year and a half before he eventually moved in. "At the time, you're a rabbit in headlights," Katherine says. "You don't know what's available. I was just so grateful that Simeon would consider him." When a bed was offered in April 2024, she turned it down, explaining that she wasn't ready. As months passed, Katherine knew she couldn’t do it alone anymore. In early 2025, she and her daughter were invited in for a meeting. Jennifer McAughtrie, General Manager, said something that has stayed with Katherine ever since: "Jen told us it will never feel like the perfect time, and she’s right. But it ended up being the kindest thing that I could do for both Brian and for myself."

A few days before Brian moved in, the family came to set up his room. Simeon’s handyman and staff helped them arrange everything, putting Brian's photographs up exactly where they wanted them and making the room as homely as possible. "They made it so much easier for us as a family," Katherine says. “It is a small detail, but it is the kind of detail that tells you a great deal about a place and the people in it,” she said.

In those first weeks, Katherine would visit and they would go out for walks together. Brian would look at her and say thank you. "I became his wife again," she says.

Katherine noticed the welcoming atmosphere at Simeon from the very first visit. No staff uniforms, a warm and comforting feeling, staff who will look you in the eye and stop to speak to you, never just walking past.

"That tells you a lot about somewhere, that the staff are caring and happy," she says. The care extends to the whole family too. "The staff are very aware that residents have families and friends who are also impacted, and they will check in on you in quiet moments."

One week, when Katherine was unwell and couldn't visit, almost every member of staff asked after her when she came back.

Brian has settled in ways the family hadn't expected. At home, he had felt trapped, unable to go out alone and walking the house aimlessly. At Simeon, the team quickly learned that fresh air helps him when he becomes distressed and taking him outside is now written into his care plan.

On his birthday, the staff made sure to play his favourite songs by Bruce Springsteen. Most weeks, he goes to the pub to meet his friends, and the staff make sure he is dressed smartly, hair brushed, shirt on and ready to go. If the rugby or Ski Sunday is on television, the staff will make sure he can watch it. Brian’s friends visit him regularly, whether it’s sitting and having lunch together, or going out for walks.

"They really consider the whole person," Katherine says. "There's not a one size fits all approach."

The family are involved in every decision. If Katherine is away for the weekend, she lets the team know and they will take Brian out for a walk. The communication is easy and consistent, and it gives Katherine peace of mind.

"I know that he is so well cared for that I don't have to worry about him every day. We both have a life now." she says.

Katherine has begun volunteering at Simeon, helping the Activities Coordinator take other residents out for walks, trips and coffees. She explained that it is her way of paying something forward for the care Brian receives.

"Caring for someone can be so emotionally and physically exhausting, and we’ve noticed such a huge difference since Dad has been at Simeon," their daughters add. "We get to be his daughters again instead of his carers. We get hugs and he tells us he loves us, and we get to go back to our role of father and daughter."

For Katherine and her family, Simeon has become more than a place of care. It is somewhere Brian is known, understood and supported as an individual with dignity, choice and the freedom to continue being himself.

For information, advice, and support for Alzheimer’s and dementia, please visit: https://www.alzscot.org/